Thank God

There is not much satisfaction to be gained from the Yankees recent change of direction in their strength and conditioning department--but there is definitely some.

The Yankees are somewhat old.

And Carl Pavano is somewhat fragile.

And they are having some bad luck.

And Torre is still mostly to blame.

But you are telling me that a 20 year old pitcher, a 26 year old pitcher, a 30 something hitter, a 38 year old pitcher, etc. etc. all just randomly began having hamstring problems at the exact same time, and there wasn't a bit of a common cause?

This makes me feel better.

What doesn't make me feel good is that after finally showing some heart last night--the Yankees blew the Rangers out of the park and got a no-hit performance from Philip Hughes--the news turned sour as Hughes is now going to miss 4-6 weeks due to injury. Oh boy. No, nothing else could go wrong. Well. They could give Joe Torre an extension. But other than that, nothing more could possibly go wrong.

Anyway, if you thought the Grammy's had lost credibility--I'm still wondering if they ever had any credibility--just know that sports awards aren't any better. Soon enough Dirk will win the MVP award with one of the most mediocre season ever to receive such an honor, but even worse than that... Rick Reilly is apparently an 11 time winning best sportswriter in America.

This guy thinks Torre is great, like all the media idiots (why do they defend him so sharply? They constantly tell us it isn't his fault they are losing, while at the same time telling us it was all due to his genius that they used to win! where, exactly, did Joe Torre gain mass brainwashing abilities?), but he also thinks Randy Moss is about as bad as Terell Owens and that he will destroy New England and that this was a terrible move by the Patriots...

WHAAATTTT?!

These comparisons are so stupid. Randy is NOTHING like TO. TO, when upset, lashes out and destroys the camaraderie of his team. He insults people, complains about QBs, etc. etc. Randy Moss, when upset, just dissapears. He is not a "cancer" in the club house (speaking of which, that word is way overused. Think up something new, people. Yes, Rick Reilly, supposedly the best sports writer we have, used the word repeatedly. So why am I not famous yet...?) and he does not ruin team chemistry. He singlehandedly took the 98 Vikings to the brink of a Super Bowl, only foiled by Gary Anderson's first missed kick all year (and a wide receiver singlehandedly taking a team by the horns and making it good is unheard of). He made Randal Cunningham look good. He made Daunte Culpepper look good. He could make anyone look good.

Now sure, he is thirty years old. But he is still raring to go. And he will. He will "go" a lot. And the Patriots will go to the Super Bowl.

And let's say I'm wrong about everything and he is a disaster both on and off the field. They only traded a 4th round pick for him! Kick him off the team and be done with it! They didn't lose anything. They'll still have a Super Bowl contender and they still will have plenty of picks in next year's draft. It isn't like they broke the bank on him anyway.

And yet, you want to know something funny?

Rick Reilly is without a doubt the best sports writer I have ever seen. His columns in the back of Sports Illustrated are usually hilarious, always informative and generally creative. He talks about off-beat topics and has witty ways of addressing them. I *love* this guy. In fact, when I first heard him spew the nonsense I just informed you of (on Mike and Mike in the Morning, a terrific radio show), I didn't even realize it was him, because I never thought Rick would be so obtuse.

It just goes to show that even the best sports writer can sound stupid when he *speaks*.

(Yes, I am only reacting this vehemently to his vitriolic attacks against Randy Moss because he also was very pejorative in his comments on the Yankees, but still. The thing with Randy is idiotic).

In other news, apparently someone somewhere conducted a "study" of NBA reffing and concluded that the refs are racist (if I got paid to write, I'd provide a link. Since I am not, you can use thirty seconds of your time and google it yourself). Now first of all, I scoff at the word "study", since all they did was look at statistics that others people compiled and gave percentages (I have performed a study of Albert Pjuols recent years, and have concluded that Albert Pujols usually hits a lot of home runs. See? I can do it too!). But still, their main point is a good one:

NBA refs are completely racist. Absurdly so. I can say without a doubt that at least 75% of the fouls called are on black players. Probably more. Maybe close to 90%. Those refs aren't even trying to hide it. They are all over the African-Americans. They won't let them do anything. They call fouls all game long. How many times does a white guy get called for a foul? Seven or eight times a game, at most? Come on you bigoted jerks, straighten this out.


Something to ponder:

If the Titans signed Keyshawn Johnson, he would give their entire receiver corps a %200 increase in receptions from last season.

Now, for our favorite sports version of Legolas, its time for the...

Mort Report Retort:

Brady Quinn fell to 22 in this year's draft. This was unexpected.

The Patriots are hoping to win a few games this year after a few minor offseason acquisitions.

The Lions picked a WR in the first round. What? That was from two years ago? What, no, it was three years ago? Wait, hold on, it was FOUR YEARS AGO?!

The Eagles hope Donovan McNabb gets healthy for this season, because most people agree he is the leading candidate for their starting QB job.


And with all the absurdly obvious stated, I leave you with one last thought:

Chris Mortensen makes more money to say "A diversion" then soldiers do to protect our country. Dear me.

~The Sports Maunderer~