This post is gonna be short

By necessity. I have been working on a rather lengthy and--if I do say so myself--amusing and informative post that is nonetheless still unready for disclosure. So I give you some more random tidbits, while reminding you that Jack Sparrow and Captain Barbosa would be great at Scrabble.

Lebrons win: Having finally realized that if he passes to Donyell Marshall, the man will miss, or if he misses a shot and Larry Hughes rebounds and has a wide-open seven footer, Hughes will miss, Lebron simply stopped passing in the fourth quarter and took the shots like a man. And he made most of them. If the Cavs had any kind of a team behind Lebron, they would have a shot at an NBA title, but since they have Lebron and four bums off the street, they will probably not even be able to squeak out a conference title. If they did, a sort of weird thing would happen... Lebron would lose in the finals. I say this is weird because Duncan has never lost in the finals. Jordan never lost in the finals. Bird and Magic did but only because one of them had to. It is somewhat rare for superstars to lose in the finals, yet the possibility awaits.

Kobe!!!!!!!! Man, talk about a sportswriter's dream. This guy has been all over the place. I mean one second he wants chicken soup and the next he yells that he distinctly remembers ordering a veggieburger. The Lakers, much to my chagrin, are not going to trade him. I'd like the Lakers to trade him, though, because as much as I dislike Kobe, I still hate to see talent wasted. And that is a heck of a talent being thrown in the trash known as Luke Walton, Kwame Brown, Lamar Odom and Smush freaking Parker. I'd like to see him go to Chicago just so we could have those insane Kobe/MJ parallels fired up again. But it would be really interesting to see him go to Pheonix; if that happened, the 2008 playoffs would be a big sham perpetrated by a money-hungry organization perfectly willing to sell tickets to pre-ordained games. Ya know, sorta like the 2007 playoffs. But for completely different reasons. Even if the Suns gave up Marion and Barbosa and their 1st round pick, they'd have a starting line-up of: Nash, Kobe, Raja Bell, Amare, and... well who the heck freaking gives a crap who the fifth guy is. That team could take on half the NBA without a number 5. Ain't gonna happen, but... oh man would it be cool.

Arrgghh!! Yes, that is a legal word in scrabble. No, I don't understand how it can consider itself a viable, honorable game after such nonsense is disclosed. Regardless, there were lots of "grrs" and "agghs" and groans and stuff after Pirates debuted, and it wasn't just coming from the dudes with the dirty teeth. The people watching the movie were usually--or at least, should--be a tad dissapointed. I liked it, but it was a half hour too long, the plot was absurd, everyone was dead or risen from the dead, and a giant crazy woman simply doesn't do it for me (and I really mean giant). Still, I thought Sparrow got back to being funny, and Barbosa did a terrific job of being... well, Barbosa. But too many times they simply dragged things on for too long, expecting the moronic masses to consider jokes funny even after five minutes of dead-equine-whipping. Sadly, I think that many people did.

A-Rod: In a terrifying display of reporting skill, A-Rod was recently seen walking down a public sidewalk... without a watch on! How can he tell time? What if he is late for a game? Is this why he is always showing up in April and May but not October? Because he doesn't realize what month or day or hour it is? Ghastly! The covertly taken photos were... disturbing to say the least.

Anyway, don't shout at me for the short post. In a few days, you will be getting a relatively massive one. (And if you didn't get the A-Rod thing, you haven't been following your sports stories too well)

~The Sports Maunderer~