Perception always wins

The idea of writing about the Yankees when they are so woefully mishapen and abhorrently grotesque to behold is...

Uncomfortable.

Yet I learned long ago that anyone--anyone--can write about things they love and manage to avoid sounding like a dyslexic ninth grader typing on a broken keyboard while watching American Idol and simultaneously texting a girlfriend. Well, okay, not everyone. I could name a couple people I have read in a couple newspapers I have seen that couldn't make an interesting column about the real life appearance of Superman or the real life dissapearance of Europe. Regardless, I maintain that writing about things you adore is far easier than things you merely lukewarmly observe or passionately detest. Anyone can write a movie review about V for Vendetta if they are just going to slurp up to it the entire time. But if you are actually going to point out its many, many flaws (unnecessary obsessiveness regarding certain social issues, unwillingness to carry artistic themes through the entire movie despite carrying them 3/4 of the way, overly dramatic acting, redundant explanation upon explanation, etc. etc. etc.) while also conveying your overall enjoyment... well that's something else entirely.

So I find myself utterly forced to write about that stinking bag of whining losers currently inhabiting the New York Yankee clubhouse.

(And I'm not going to get into Giambi, his "stuff", his alleged failed drug test or his overall idiocy. This guy is clearly a good-for-nothing nincompoop, so let us move forward)

The Yankees are clearly in trouble, and injuries have done a good deal to facilitate this mess of a season. Their managing has also been massively self-destructive, to the point where everytime they show that zombie-like visage falling asleep (until a pitcher approaches 100 pitches, then he springs to life with a vivacity unmatched by any human being currently sucking air), I want to throw bricks at the TV just to rid myself of such horror movie material. But still, the commentators and analysts proclaim the Yankees problem is their lack of pitching.

Wrong.

It is their utterly inept batting order.

"You're insane!" must be the response. "They have A-Rod, and Jeter, and Johnny Damon, and Abreu, and Hideki Matsui, and Jorge Posada, and Robbie Cano, and Giambi, and--"

Shut up. Seriously. I don't care to hear any more names, because the Yankees always have plenty of those. Their lineup is full of huge names who are often useless. The Yankees are paying Jason Giambi $24 million dollars this year to hit in the mid .200s. They are giving Matsui similarly bloated pecuniary compensation for being a ridiculously average hitter and a below average fielder. They are giving Bobby Abreu $16 million to stand in the batter's box and not swing at anything.

But beyond the individual performances (let's face it, Posada and A-Rod are having great years), the problem is simply that this is not a lineup; its a list of home run derby hitters. They have a leadoff man, a natural two hitter, then a power hitter, than a power hitter, than a power hitter, than a power hitter... and strangely enough, most of those power hitters can't even hit for much power. Besides Jeter, no one in this lineup can do everything you possibly need at that particular moment. A-Rod has been doing it for a few months now, but obviously he has had prior problems with such finesse. I give Johnny a pass here because he has had serious injuries and always plays his heart out... but he still fails completely more often than not.

This lineup is not built to win games, it is built to score runs. There is a monumental difference. This lineup scored 930 runs last year. That is a lot. It will probably score even more this year. But it doesn't win games. It gets twelve runs one day, ten the next, and then gives you aces and deuces for the rest of the week. It scores seven when they need nine, one when they need three, etc. This lineup does not score when it needs to, it scores at random intervals completely unrelated to the situation.

Even A-Rod's April surge followed this trend. Sure, he hit walk-off homers, but that is because every time he came to the plate he hit a homer. It really wasn't like he came through when it mattered most. He just always came through. This isn't bad. But even A-Rod, the best player to ever play, cannot keep this gargantuan production up for a whole season, and that's when you need to hit when it matters, steal when it matters, ground out to the right side of the infield when it matters, etc. Not only do the Yankees fail to do this, they are the polar opposite. When a rally is brewing and a red hot A-Rod is only a batter away with Jeter on first, no outs and Abreu up with a 3-1 count... good ol' Bobby grounds into a double play. Then he does it again, next time, in nearly the exact same situation. When there are runners on the corners in the seventh and one out and the game is tied, Matsui only needs to lift the ball into center to take the lead. Instead, he grounds into a double play*.

This is why they lost in the postseason last year, the year before, the year before, and the year before. Steve Philips can shout about their failure to acquire pitching all he wants (particularly ironic since he earned his seat on Baseball Tonight by failing to provide the Mets with much of anything during his tenure as GM), but the fact of the matter is that they almost never scored in the last three games of the Detroit Series. Cy Young could come have back from to dead and throw a 12 inning, one run game, only to lose.

Their pitching took some injuries early this year but battled through thanks to a terrific Andy Pettite April and May, Wang's return, and some outrageously decent minor leaguers stepping it up. But their big league veteran counterparts are doing nothing of the sort. And yeah I blame this all on Torre but that isn't the only point. Sure, he does a great job of putting them to sleep, but should big leaguers need someone to light a fire in their rectum? I don't think so.

You can shout at Carl Pavano and Kei Igawa and the strength and conditioning coach all you want, (and rightfully so), but if the Yankee linup were doing its job, no one would care.

*Matsui is an unbelievable specimen. Very rarely does a hitter strike out as often as he does, while also grounding into double plays as often as he does. How he manages this is beyond me. He could tell us, but he can't speak English, and if he uses Ichiro's translator, it would probably come out like "The innermost recesses of my soul carry the dragon of my competativeness to levels unparalleled. I attempt to honorably attack every valorous opportunity that providence feels warranted to grace me with, and unfortunately, the alacrity in my bat does not always match the courage in my heart."

Yep. And Joe Torre would probably say: "I'd rather have him up than any other player with the game on the line".

Oh wait, not probably. He did say just such a thing a few years back!

The 2007 New York Yankees.