By necessity. I have been working on a rather lengthy and--if I do say so myself--amusing and informative post that is nonetheless still unready for disclosure. So I give you some more random tidbits, while reminding you that Jack Sparrow and Captain Barbosa would be great at Scrabble.
Lebrons win: Having finally realized that if he passes to Donyell Marshall, the man will miss, or if he misses a shot and Larry Hughes rebounds and has a wide-open seven footer, Hughes will miss, Lebron simply stopped passing in the fourth quarter and took the shots like a man. And he made most of them. If the Cavs had any kind of a team behind Lebron, they would have a shot at an NBA title, but since they have Lebron and four bums off the street, they will probably not even be able to squeak out a conference title. If they did, a sort of weird thing would happen... Lebron would lose in the finals. I say this is weird because Duncan has never lost in the finals. Jordan never lost in the finals. Bird and Magic did but only because one of them had to. It is somewhat rare for superstars to lose in the finals, yet the possibility awaits.
Kobe!!!!!!!! Man, talk about a sportswriter's dream. This guy has been all over the place. I mean one second he wants chicken soup and the next he yells that he distinctly remembers ordering a veggieburger. The Lakers, much to my chagrin, are not going to trade him. I'd like the Lakers to trade him, though, because as much as I dislike Kobe, I still hate to see talent wasted. And that is a heck of a talent being thrown in the trash known as Luke Walton, Kwame Brown, Lamar Odom and Smush freaking Parker. I'd like to see him go to Chicago just so we could have those insane Kobe/MJ parallels fired up again. But it would be really interesting to see him go to Pheonix; if that happened, the 2008 playoffs would be a big sham perpetrated by a money-hungry organization perfectly willing to sell tickets to pre-ordained games. Ya know, sorta like the 2007 playoffs. But for completely different reasons. Even if the Suns gave up Marion and Barbosa and their 1st round pick, they'd have a starting line-up of: Nash, Kobe, Raja Bell, Amare, and... well who the heck freaking gives a crap who the fifth guy is. That team could take on half the NBA without a number 5. Ain't gonna happen, but... oh man would it be cool.
Arrgghh!! Yes, that is a legal word in scrabble. No, I don't understand how it can consider itself a viable, honorable game after such nonsense is disclosed. Regardless, there were lots of "grrs" and "agghs" and groans and stuff after Pirates debuted, and it wasn't just coming from the dudes with the dirty teeth. The people watching the movie were usually--or at least, should--be a tad dissapointed. I liked it, but it was a half hour too long, the plot was absurd, everyone was dead or risen from the dead, and a giant crazy woman simply doesn't do it for me (and I really mean giant). Still, I thought Sparrow got back to being funny, and Barbosa did a terrific job of being... well, Barbosa. But too many times they simply dragged things on for too long, expecting the moronic masses to consider jokes funny even after five minutes of dead-equine-whipping. Sadly, I think that many people did.
A-Rod: In a terrifying display of reporting skill, A-Rod was recently seen walking down a public sidewalk... without a watch on! How can he tell time? What if he is late for a game? Is this why he is always showing up in April and May but not October? Because he doesn't realize what month or day or hour it is? Ghastly! The covertly taken photos were... disturbing to say the least.
Anyway, don't shout at me for the short post. In a few days, you will be getting a relatively massive one. (And if you didn't get the A-Rod thing, you haven't been following your sports stories too well)
~The Sports Maunderer~
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Monday, May 28, 2007
Random tidbits (But wait, there's Mort!)
"He should dominate for a lot more years"
Exceptionally worded sentence, would you not agree? Well, if you do, stop reading now because your intelligence quotient is probably low enough that you don't know what an intelligence quotient is.
Anyway, the previously quoted writ was written by writer Len Pasquerelli (if I spelled his name wrong, I apologize, but come on, look at that name), one of ESPN's NFL "experts". I don't so much blame him for this atrocious example of editing gone bad, but... well, yes I do, because it should never have gotten to the editing phase looking like that. Still, the fact that the editor(s) let it go is minorly insane. If this were a one in a million thing, maybe, but I read only a few of many ESPN articles, and I find such nonsense assiduously. You really would think that it would be harder to find said crapola--and similar crapola--on such a major website. And no, I don't usually say crapola quite so often.
Anyway, moving onto more sports-oriented stories, the Yankees did their best (granted, that is not much these days) to prove me inevitably correct by getting their heads handed to them on dirty platters by the LA of ANA of CA of USA Angels. (Hey, I like that. From now on, they are the Laanacausa Angels. That name sounds California-ish anyway). They did it exactly how I said they would. Getting outhit. Not outpitched. Outhit. They scored a grand total of seven runs in three games. Someone explain to me why this team has such a "great" lineup?
The Cavs are down 2-1 to the Pistons, even though that really should be reversed. Donyell Marshall eats for only one reason. He gets paid by the Cavs. He gets paid by the Cavs for one reason. To hit open threes. He got an outrageously open three point attempt to win game 1 (and give Lebron a triple double) but clanked it off the side of the rim. It was not even on target.
So I will not pile on Lebron because let's face it, he has to deal with a bunch of talentless losers as teammates. The Cavs would have had a decent chance at landing Greg Oden if Lebron was not on their team. They would have zero chance of hanging tough with the Pistons. Yet here they are. They are a decent team and it is for one reason only. Lebron.
With that said, he needs to play better. And by play better, I mean learn to shoot. Can anyone imagine how inexorable the Lebron James machine would be if Lebron could actually hit 16 footers with some type of regularity? He'd be... well he'd be winning this series 3-0, that's for sure.
Okay people, time for a lot more comments by...
The Mort Report Retort
Michael Vick apparently owns some dogs.
Jason Giambi allegedly used performance enhancing drugs.
The Spurs are in the Western Conference Finals.
The other team in the West is unknown as they have yet to show up.
Jason Giambi thinks using performance enchancing drugs is wrong.
Keyshawn Johnson got cut by the Panthers.
Jason Giambi doesn't think performance enhancing drugs help your performance.
The Celtics are very happy to be picking at #5, because that is a high pick.
Jason Giambi talks a lot.
What's a hodag?
Not sure, but the Wisconsin ones just won the 2007 College Ultimate Championships, by steamrolling the field. They won 15-7 in the finals and went on a 10-2 run after a shaky start. Basically, they could have played against superheroes and still emerged triumphant. The game was the third trip to the finals in four years for loser Colorado, but they have not won since their fantastic freshman, Beaufort Kittredge, led them to victory in 2004. He is still on the team and is still good, but apparently not as good as he used to be. Interesting.
More imporantly, Florida was defeated by Colorado in the semi-finals, allowing non-Gator states a little air as the blue dudes no longer have a stranglehold on every single college sport. But they still have it on most of them. It's just weird.
Anyway, enjoy the week, the weekend and the week after that; this has been...
~The Sports Maunderer~
Exceptionally worded sentence, would you not agree? Well, if you do, stop reading now because your intelligence quotient is probably low enough that you don't know what an intelligence quotient is.
Anyway, the previously quoted writ was written by writer Len Pasquerelli (if I spelled his name wrong, I apologize, but come on, look at that name), one of ESPN's NFL "experts". I don't so much blame him for this atrocious example of editing gone bad, but... well, yes I do, because it should never have gotten to the editing phase looking like that. Still, the fact that the editor(s) let it go is minorly insane. If this were a one in a million thing, maybe, but I read only a few of many ESPN articles, and I find such nonsense assiduously. You really would think that it would be harder to find said crapola--and similar crapola--on such a major website. And no, I don't usually say crapola quite so often.
Anyway, moving onto more sports-oriented stories, the Yankees did their best (granted, that is not much these days) to prove me inevitably correct by getting their heads handed to them on dirty platters by the LA of ANA of CA of USA Angels. (Hey, I like that. From now on, they are the Laanacausa Angels. That name sounds California-ish anyway). They did it exactly how I said they would. Getting outhit. Not outpitched. Outhit. They scored a grand total of seven runs in three games. Someone explain to me why this team has such a "great" lineup?
The Cavs are down 2-1 to the Pistons, even though that really should be reversed. Donyell Marshall eats for only one reason. He gets paid by the Cavs. He gets paid by the Cavs for one reason. To hit open threes. He got an outrageously open three point attempt to win game 1 (and give Lebron a triple double) but clanked it off the side of the rim. It was not even on target.
So I will not pile on Lebron because let's face it, he has to deal with a bunch of talentless losers as teammates. The Cavs would have had a decent chance at landing Greg Oden if Lebron was not on their team. They would have zero chance of hanging tough with the Pistons. Yet here they are. They are a decent team and it is for one reason only. Lebron.
With that said, he needs to play better. And by play better, I mean learn to shoot. Can anyone imagine how inexorable the Lebron James machine would be if Lebron could actually hit 16 footers with some type of regularity? He'd be... well he'd be winning this series 3-0, that's for sure.
Okay people, time for a lot more comments by...
The Mort Report Retort
Michael Vick apparently owns some dogs.
Jason Giambi allegedly used performance enhancing drugs.
The Spurs are in the Western Conference Finals.
The other team in the West is unknown as they have yet to show up.
Jason Giambi thinks using performance enchancing drugs is wrong.
Keyshawn Johnson got cut by the Panthers.
Jason Giambi doesn't think performance enhancing drugs help your performance.
The Celtics are very happy to be picking at #5, because that is a high pick.
Jason Giambi talks a lot.
What's a hodag?
Not sure, but the Wisconsin ones just won the 2007 College Ultimate Championships, by steamrolling the field. They won 15-7 in the finals and went on a 10-2 run after a shaky start. Basically, they could have played against superheroes and still emerged triumphant. The game was the third trip to the finals in four years for loser Colorado, but they have not won since their fantastic freshman, Beaufort Kittredge, led them to victory in 2004. He is still on the team and is still good, but apparently not as good as he used to be. Interesting.
More imporantly, Florida was defeated by Colorado in the semi-finals, allowing non-Gator states a little air as the blue dudes no longer have a stranglehold on every single college sport. But they still have it on most of them. It's just weird.
Anyway, enjoy the week, the weekend and the week after that; this has been...
~The Sports Maunderer~
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Perception always wins
The idea of writing about the Yankees when they are so woefully mishapen and abhorrently grotesque to behold is...
Uncomfortable.
Yet I learned long ago that anyone--anyone--can write about things they love and manage to avoid sounding like a dyslexic ninth grader typing on a broken keyboard while watching American Idol and simultaneously texting a girlfriend. Well, okay, not everyone. I could name a couple people I have read in a couple newspapers I have seen that couldn't make an interesting column about the real life appearance of Superman or the real life dissapearance of Europe. Regardless, I maintain that writing about things you adore is far easier than things you merely lukewarmly observe or passionately detest. Anyone can write a movie review about V for Vendetta if they are just going to slurp up to it the entire time. But if you are actually going to point out its many, many flaws (unnecessary obsessiveness regarding certain social issues, unwillingness to carry artistic themes through the entire movie despite carrying them 3/4 of the way, overly dramatic acting, redundant explanation upon explanation, etc. etc. etc.) while also conveying your overall enjoyment... well that's something else entirely.
So I find myself utterly forced to write about that stinking bag of whining losers currently inhabiting the New York Yankee clubhouse.
(And I'm not going to get into Giambi, his "stuff", his alleged failed drug test or his overall idiocy. This guy is clearly a good-for-nothing nincompoop, so let us move forward)
The Yankees are clearly in trouble, and injuries have done a good deal to facilitate this mess of a season. Their managing has also been massively self-destructive, to the point where everytime they show that zombie-like visage falling asleep (until a pitcher approaches 100 pitches, then he springs to life with a vivacity unmatched by any human being currently sucking air), I want to throw bricks at the TV just to rid myself of such horror movie material. But still, the commentators and analysts proclaim the Yankees problem is their lack of pitching.
Wrong.
It is their utterly inept batting order.
"You're insane!" must be the response. "They have A-Rod, and Jeter, and Johnny Damon, and Abreu, and Hideki Matsui, and Jorge Posada, and Robbie Cano, and Giambi, and--"
Shut up. Seriously. I don't care to hear any more names, because the Yankees always have plenty of those. Their lineup is full of huge names who are often useless. The Yankees are paying Jason Giambi $24 million dollars this year to hit in the mid .200s. They are giving Matsui similarly bloated pecuniary compensation for being a ridiculously average hitter and a below average fielder. They are giving Bobby Abreu $16 million to stand in the batter's box and not swing at anything.
But beyond the individual performances (let's face it, Posada and A-Rod are having great years), the problem is simply that this is not a lineup; its a list of home run derby hitters. They have a leadoff man, a natural two hitter, then a power hitter, than a power hitter, than a power hitter, than a power hitter... and strangely enough, most of those power hitters can't even hit for much power. Besides Jeter, no one in this lineup can do everything you possibly need at that particular moment. A-Rod has been doing it for a few months now, but obviously he has had prior problems with such finesse. I give Johnny a pass here because he has had serious injuries and always plays his heart out... but he still fails completely more often than not.
This lineup is not built to win games, it is built to score runs. There is a monumental difference. This lineup scored 930 runs last year. That is a lot. It will probably score even more this year. But it doesn't win games. It gets twelve runs one day, ten the next, and then gives you aces and deuces for the rest of the week. It scores seven when they need nine, one when they need three, etc. This lineup does not score when it needs to, it scores at random intervals completely unrelated to the situation.
Even A-Rod's April surge followed this trend. Sure, he hit walk-off homers, but that is because every time he came to the plate he hit a homer. It really wasn't like he came through when it mattered most. He just always came through. This isn't bad. But even A-Rod, the best player to ever play, cannot keep this gargantuan production up for a whole season, and that's when you need to hit when it matters, steal when it matters, ground out to the right side of the infield when it matters, etc. Not only do the Yankees fail to do this, they are the polar opposite. When a rally is brewing and a red hot A-Rod is only a batter away with Jeter on first, no outs and Abreu up with a 3-1 count... good ol' Bobby grounds into a double play. Then he does it again, next time, in nearly the exact same situation. When there are runners on the corners in the seventh and one out and the game is tied, Matsui only needs to lift the ball into center to take the lead. Instead, he grounds into a double play*.
This is why they lost in the postseason last year, the year before, the year before, and the year before. Steve Philips can shout about their failure to acquire pitching all he wants (particularly ironic since he earned his seat on Baseball Tonight by failing to provide the Mets with much of anything during his tenure as GM), but the fact of the matter is that they almost never scored in the last three games of the Detroit Series. Cy Young could come have back from to dead and throw a 12 inning, one run game, only to lose.
Their pitching took some injuries early this year but battled through thanks to a terrific Andy Pettite April and May, Wang's return, and some outrageously decent minor leaguers stepping it up. But their big league veteran counterparts are doing nothing of the sort. And yeah I blame this all on Torre but that isn't the only point. Sure, he does a great job of putting them to sleep, but should big leaguers need someone to light a fire in their rectum? I don't think so.
You can shout at Carl Pavano and Kei Igawa and the strength and conditioning coach all you want, (and rightfully so), but if the Yankee linup were doing its job, no one would care.
*Matsui is an unbelievable specimen. Very rarely does a hitter strike out as often as he does, while also grounding into double plays as often as he does. How he manages this is beyond me. He could tell us, but he can't speak English, and if he uses Ichiro's translator, it would probably come out like "The innermost recesses of my soul carry the dragon of my competativeness to levels unparalleled. I attempt to honorably attack every valorous opportunity that providence feels warranted to grace me with, and unfortunately, the alacrity in my bat does not always match the courage in my heart."
Yep. And Joe Torre would probably say: "I'd rather have him up than any other player with the game on the line".
Oh wait, not probably. He did say just such a thing a few years back!
The 2007 New York Yankees.
Uncomfortable.
Yet I learned long ago that anyone--anyone--can write about things they love and manage to avoid sounding like a dyslexic ninth grader typing on a broken keyboard while watching American Idol and simultaneously texting a girlfriend. Well, okay, not everyone. I could name a couple people I have read in a couple newspapers I have seen that couldn't make an interesting column about the real life appearance of Superman or the real life dissapearance of Europe. Regardless, I maintain that writing about things you adore is far easier than things you merely lukewarmly observe or passionately detest. Anyone can write a movie review about V for Vendetta if they are just going to slurp up to it the entire time. But if you are actually going to point out its many, many flaws (unnecessary obsessiveness regarding certain social issues, unwillingness to carry artistic themes through the entire movie despite carrying them 3/4 of the way, overly dramatic acting, redundant explanation upon explanation, etc. etc. etc.) while also conveying your overall enjoyment... well that's something else entirely.
So I find myself utterly forced to write about that stinking bag of whining losers currently inhabiting the New York Yankee clubhouse.
(And I'm not going to get into Giambi, his "stuff", his alleged failed drug test or his overall idiocy. This guy is clearly a good-for-nothing nincompoop, so let us move forward)
The Yankees are clearly in trouble, and injuries have done a good deal to facilitate this mess of a season. Their managing has also been massively self-destructive, to the point where everytime they show that zombie-like visage falling asleep (until a pitcher approaches 100 pitches, then he springs to life with a vivacity unmatched by any human being currently sucking air), I want to throw bricks at the TV just to rid myself of such horror movie material. But still, the commentators and analysts proclaim the Yankees problem is their lack of pitching.
Wrong.
It is their utterly inept batting order.
"You're insane!" must be the response. "They have A-Rod, and Jeter, and Johnny Damon, and Abreu, and Hideki Matsui, and Jorge Posada, and Robbie Cano, and Giambi, and--"
Shut up. Seriously. I don't care to hear any more names, because the Yankees always have plenty of those. Their lineup is full of huge names who are often useless. The Yankees are paying Jason Giambi $24 million dollars this year to hit in the mid .200s. They are giving Matsui similarly bloated pecuniary compensation for being a ridiculously average hitter and a below average fielder. They are giving Bobby Abreu $16 million to stand in the batter's box and not swing at anything.
But beyond the individual performances (let's face it, Posada and A-Rod are having great years), the problem is simply that this is not a lineup; its a list of home run derby hitters. They have a leadoff man, a natural two hitter, then a power hitter, than a power hitter, than a power hitter, than a power hitter... and strangely enough, most of those power hitters can't even hit for much power. Besides Jeter, no one in this lineup can do everything you possibly need at that particular moment. A-Rod has been doing it for a few months now, but obviously he has had prior problems with such finesse. I give Johnny a pass here because he has had serious injuries and always plays his heart out... but he still fails completely more often than not.
This lineup is not built to win games, it is built to score runs. There is a monumental difference. This lineup scored 930 runs last year. That is a lot. It will probably score even more this year. But it doesn't win games. It gets twelve runs one day, ten the next, and then gives you aces and deuces for the rest of the week. It scores seven when they need nine, one when they need three, etc. This lineup does not score when it needs to, it scores at random intervals completely unrelated to the situation.
Even A-Rod's April surge followed this trend. Sure, he hit walk-off homers, but that is because every time he came to the plate he hit a homer. It really wasn't like he came through when it mattered most. He just always came through. This isn't bad. But even A-Rod, the best player to ever play, cannot keep this gargantuan production up for a whole season, and that's when you need to hit when it matters, steal when it matters, ground out to the right side of the infield when it matters, etc. Not only do the Yankees fail to do this, they are the polar opposite. When a rally is brewing and a red hot A-Rod is only a batter away with Jeter on first, no outs and Abreu up with a 3-1 count... good ol' Bobby grounds into a double play. Then he does it again, next time, in nearly the exact same situation. When there are runners on the corners in the seventh and one out and the game is tied, Matsui only needs to lift the ball into center to take the lead. Instead, he grounds into a double play*.
This is why they lost in the postseason last year, the year before, the year before, and the year before. Steve Philips can shout about their failure to acquire pitching all he wants (particularly ironic since he earned his seat on Baseball Tonight by failing to provide the Mets with much of anything during his tenure as GM), but the fact of the matter is that they almost never scored in the last three games of the Detroit Series. Cy Young could come have back from to dead and throw a 12 inning, one run game, only to lose.
Their pitching took some injuries early this year but battled through thanks to a terrific Andy Pettite April and May, Wang's return, and some outrageously decent minor leaguers stepping it up. But their big league veteran counterparts are doing nothing of the sort. And yeah I blame this all on Torre but that isn't the only point. Sure, he does a great job of putting them to sleep, but should big leaguers need someone to light a fire in their rectum? I don't think so.
You can shout at Carl Pavano and Kei Igawa and the strength and conditioning coach all you want, (and rightfully so), but if the Yankee linup were doing its job, no one would care.
*Matsui is an unbelievable specimen. Very rarely does a hitter strike out as often as he does, while also grounding into double plays as often as he does. How he manages this is beyond me. He could tell us, but he can't speak English, and if he uses Ichiro's translator, it would probably come out like "The innermost recesses of my soul carry the dragon of my competativeness to levels unparalleled. I attempt to honorably attack every valorous opportunity that providence feels warranted to grace me with, and unfortunately, the alacrity in my bat does not always match the courage in my heart."
Yep. And Joe Torre would probably say: "I'd rather have him up than any other player with the game on the line".
Oh wait, not probably. He did say just such a thing a few years back!
The 2007 New York Yankees.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
If you don't score, you don't win
The Nets managed to somehow lose game four of their series with Cleveland, despite being at home and despite a relatively poor performance by the Cavaliers. The Nets boast a trio of star players: Jason Kidd, point guard extraordinaire, Vince Carter, and Richard Jefferson.
The Cavs have one dude. Lebron. And Lebron did not exactly dominate this game (almost blew it by missing a late free throw).
So why aren't the Nets good? Tony Kornheiser wondered why they aren't *great*, despite having three stars on their teams. Everyone sees the three guys and thinks "man, they will be hard to stop".
Yet they are oh so easy to stop, for very simple reasons. Reason, actually.
None of them can shoot.
Oh, sure, Vince Carter is a fine player and so is Richard Jefferson, and Jason Kidd is clearly a terrific point guard, but none of them can shoot. They can drive, finish, pass, etc., but if the defense collapses, they kick it out and... then they have to drive *again* because none of them can shoot. This is a terribly constructed team. The big three can't hit a wide open 20 footer with any type of regularity. The opposing team can just give the three point line away and it won't matter.
It is here that one finds my biggest problem with sports teams of today. They have all forgotten how to win. You win in basketball by scoring more than your opponent. This requires the ability to SHOOT. If speed and hops were all you need, Tyrus Thomas would be Oscar Robertson. If the ability to slice and dice was all you needed, Devin Harris would be Magic Johnson.
Jason Kidd is a terrific point guard, but no one in their right mind would take him over Steve Nash. Want to know why? It isn't because Kidd is an inferior passer--he isn't, really--or because he is an inferior rebounder--he is clearly superior--or because he is worse at defending--he certainly isn't. It is because Steve Nash can do that tiny little thing which so many people can't in the NBA.
He can shoot the basketball and *make* said shots. If The Nets had anyone who could knock down an open jumper, they could very well have won each and every game they have played. Instead, they have let a Cleveland team more fit for posing for a "weirdest hairstyle of the month" contest than basketball, completely embarass them.
Now clearly, Vince Carter has always been overrated, and Richard Jefferson has always been well-rated despite people attempting to claim he is underrated (he is a good player, not a great one) and Jason Kidd is an exceptional point guard. But still, if any of them could shoot, this team would be nigh unbeatable. Instead, they have let a floppy-haired flopper, a guy who can't decide whether to wear a headband, a guy with a crazy patch of hair on the back of his neck, a guy who is a 700 hundred years old (also fat) and a superstar who doesn't seem to care whether he wins or not...
to completely embarass them. The Nets are every bit as bad as their record suggested. It is because they can't shoot.
This is not only a Net problem or a basketball problem though. The Knicks are a fine example of an extremely athletic--and utterly inept--basketball team. None of them can shoot. But in other sports, we have teams willing to break the bank on players who can do a lot of things well but can't do what they need to do at all. NFL teams are always ready to pay a lot of money for fast WRs who can jump. They often forget to check if they can catch. Marques Colston is not particularly fast, but he owned the league last year because he can do that oh-so-unimportant catching thing. In baseball, pitchers with great fastballs and knee-buckling curves are always hired... even if they have never won any games due to their complete inability to throw a ball over the plate (see: Jeff Weaver).
The teams that do well are the teams that get players who can do what they need to do to win (see: New England Patriots). They might not have ceisure inducing speed or mind-numbing power, but most of their players can do what they are supposed to (i.e. their linebackers can tackle, their QB can throw accurately, their tight ends can block and catch, etc.)
After looking at John Elway's career biography and stats, I have to wonder... what did this guy do that was so amazing? I mean, sure, he was extremely consistent, but most of the time that consistency manifested itself in 20 TDs, as well as just a few less than 20 INTs. Not to mention he only ever threw for 4,000 yards *once*. As far as winning... well sure he got to the Super Bowl a lot... and lost a lot. Until, finally, a great running game won it for him in 97 and 98. I'm not saying he wasn't great. But why is he the supposed greatest of all time? If anyone knows, please edify me.
World Series to be played... in November! The possible seventh game of the World Series would be played November first, thanks to the MLB moving back the starting game from October 20th to October 24th. Not sure why this is important but I thought you needed edification (by the way, my twisting and butchering of this word is completely purposeful).
The Most Bogus Suspensions Since the first suspension bridge fell down: Two words: You suck NBA, in much the same way that dropping your toast butter-side down sucks, in much the same way that feet wrapped in leathery, burnt bacon suck, in much the same way that the person trying to count out exact change in front of you sucks, in much the same way that an empty soda can sucks, in much the same way that My Chemical Romance sucks, in much the same way that a baby does a job on a thumb, in much the same way that falling in the mud sucks, in much the same way that getting dumped sucks, in much the same way that sitting in an airplane behind an obnoxiously obese person who is putting their seat back WAY too far and snoring sucks, in much the same way that putting on your shoes only to find out someone filled them with peanut butter sucks, in much the same way spinach sucks, in much the same way nuclear bombs sucks.
Yeah, that's right, I said it. NUCLEAR BOMBS! That's how pathetic these retarded suspensions are. I look forward to a disastrously low-rated Conference Finals and NBA finals, because NO ONE wants to watch a bunch of dirty whining babies who only got to where they are on the backs of scurrilous suspensions handed down by a league with as much common sense as a pauper has cents.
Oh I love it when my blog fulfills its purpose.
~The Sports Maunderer~
The Cavs have one dude. Lebron. And Lebron did not exactly dominate this game (almost blew it by missing a late free throw).
So why aren't the Nets good? Tony Kornheiser wondered why they aren't *great*, despite having three stars on their teams. Everyone sees the three guys and thinks "man, they will be hard to stop".
Yet they are oh so easy to stop, for very simple reasons. Reason, actually.
None of them can shoot.
Oh, sure, Vince Carter is a fine player and so is Richard Jefferson, and Jason Kidd is clearly a terrific point guard, but none of them can shoot. They can drive, finish, pass, etc., but if the defense collapses, they kick it out and... then they have to drive *again* because none of them can shoot. This is a terribly constructed team. The big three can't hit a wide open 20 footer with any type of regularity. The opposing team can just give the three point line away and it won't matter.
It is here that one finds my biggest problem with sports teams of today. They have all forgotten how to win. You win in basketball by scoring more than your opponent. This requires the ability to SHOOT. If speed and hops were all you need, Tyrus Thomas would be Oscar Robertson. If the ability to slice and dice was all you needed, Devin Harris would be Magic Johnson.
Jason Kidd is a terrific point guard, but no one in their right mind would take him over Steve Nash. Want to know why? It isn't because Kidd is an inferior passer--he isn't, really--or because he is an inferior rebounder--he is clearly superior--or because he is worse at defending--he certainly isn't. It is because Steve Nash can do that tiny little thing which so many people can't in the NBA.
He can shoot the basketball and *make* said shots. If The Nets had anyone who could knock down an open jumper, they could very well have won each and every game they have played. Instead, they have let a Cleveland team more fit for posing for a "weirdest hairstyle of the month" contest than basketball, completely embarass them.
Now clearly, Vince Carter has always been overrated, and Richard Jefferson has always been well-rated despite people attempting to claim he is underrated (he is a good player, not a great one) and Jason Kidd is an exceptional point guard. But still, if any of them could shoot, this team would be nigh unbeatable. Instead, they have let a floppy-haired flopper, a guy who can't decide whether to wear a headband, a guy with a crazy patch of hair on the back of his neck, a guy who is a 700 hundred years old (also fat) and a superstar who doesn't seem to care whether he wins or not...
to completely embarass them. The Nets are every bit as bad as their record suggested. It is because they can't shoot.
This is not only a Net problem or a basketball problem though. The Knicks are a fine example of an extremely athletic--and utterly inept--basketball team. None of them can shoot. But in other sports, we have teams willing to break the bank on players who can do a lot of things well but can't do what they need to do at all. NFL teams are always ready to pay a lot of money for fast WRs who can jump. They often forget to check if they can catch. Marques Colston is not particularly fast, but he owned the league last year because he can do that oh-so-unimportant catching thing. In baseball, pitchers with great fastballs and knee-buckling curves are always hired... even if they have never won any games due to their complete inability to throw a ball over the plate (see: Jeff Weaver).
The teams that do well are the teams that get players who can do what they need to do to win (see: New England Patriots). They might not have ceisure inducing speed or mind-numbing power, but most of their players can do what they are supposed to (i.e. their linebackers can tackle, their QB can throw accurately, their tight ends can block and catch, etc.)
After looking at John Elway's career biography and stats, I have to wonder... what did this guy do that was so amazing? I mean, sure, he was extremely consistent, but most of the time that consistency manifested itself in 20 TDs, as well as just a few less than 20 INTs. Not to mention he only ever threw for 4,000 yards *once*. As far as winning... well sure he got to the Super Bowl a lot... and lost a lot. Until, finally, a great running game won it for him in 97 and 98. I'm not saying he wasn't great. But why is he the supposed greatest of all time? If anyone knows, please edify me.
World Series to be played... in November! The possible seventh game of the World Series would be played November first, thanks to the MLB moving back the starting game from October 20th to October 24th. Not sure why this is important but I thought you needed edification (by the way, my twisting and butchering of this word is completely purposeful).
The Most Bogus Suspensions Since the first suspension bridge fell down: Two words: You suck NBA, in much the same way that dropping your toast butter-side down sucks, in much the same way that feet wrapped in leathery, burnt bacon suck, in much the same way that the person trying to count out exact change in front of you sucks, in much the same way that an empty soda can sucks, in much the same way that My Chemical Romance sucks, in much the same way that a baby does a job on a thumb, in much the same way that falling in the mud sucks, in much the same way that getting dumped sucks, in much the same way that sitting in an airplane behind an obnoxiously obese person who is putting their seat back WAY too far and snoring sucks, in much the same way that putting on your shoes only to find out someone filled them with peanut butter sucks, in much the same way spinach sucks, in much the same way nuclear bombs sucks.
Yeah, that's right, I said it. NUCLEAR BOMBS! That's how pathetic these retarded suspensions are. I look forward to a disastrously low-rated Conference Finals and NBA finals, because NO ONE wants to watch a bunch of dirty whining babies who only got to where they are on the backs of scurrilous suspensions handed down by a league with as much common sense as a pauper has cents.
Oh I love it when my blog fulfills its purpose.
~The Sports Maunderer~
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Some tidbits and a new business arrangement
"He threw the ball well," said Mariners manager Mike Hargrove, who added Weaver will take his next turn in the rotation. "If he throws like that the rest of the year we're going to be all right."
This is what Mike Hargrove said after Jeff Weaver gave up 6 runs in 5 1/3 innings.
I would love to see what he looks like when he throws badly.
Regardless of the humorous flavor involved with this quote, it is an established fact that Weaver has always been one of those pitchers who “throws the ball well”. His stuff has always been good. His pitches have movement and speed. Throwing the ball well is not his problem.
He still sucks.
How he parlayed his flash in the pan postseason performance into a heist worthy of “The Sting” is a question answerable only by Seattle’s GM (who by the way, has GOT to be the worst GM in baseball, for so many reasons). Nevertheless, at least he starts.
I’m looking at you, Carl Pavano.
Anyway, after the Rockets lost game seven, I braced myself for a bunch of random “Tracy McGrady can’t get it done” nonsense. I didn’t get as much as I thought (mostly due to his being completely overshadowed by a certain clumsy German), but some people still blamed him.
Big mistake. You watch that game, and you know that Tracy did everything short of ripping his heart out and throwing it at the other team to distract them in order to win that game. Yao Ming, on the other hand, is a colossal (no, this isn’t some pathetic play on words) failure. He is slow, can’t play defense, can’t even outrebound guys a foot shorter than him, is a turnover waiting to happen, and basically doesn’t provide enough offense to make up for his utter cruddiness everywhere else. Houston will never win with this guy at center, unless they happen to trade for Tim Duncan, Steve Nash, Lebron James and Tayshaun Prince, and relegate Yao to gatorade duties.
He stinks.
Meanwhile, in the big news of the week, Roger Clemens is coming back to the Yankees. This is cool but somewhat disappointing, because now when the Yankees go on a run and make the division interesting (hopefully culminating in a dramatic victory once again), everyone will say it was all Clemens, when it reality, it won’t have all been Clemens. But alas, such is the curse of being the Yankees, and having a history of simply being better than everyone else.
(Speaking of which, Steve Philips once said it was childish and arrogant for Yankee fans to expect to win the World Series every year... really? Seeing as, on average, they have won more than once every four years for the last 87 years, it seems relatively intelligent and perspicacious to me)
Anyway, I have entered into a deal in which I pay for the advertising services of Post Hill; to offset this cost, he pays me to advertise for him. So here we go. I will attempt to come up with a song better than the “worst song ever” candidates he usually parades from Kevin Federline and the like, regarding Post Hill’s awesomeness.
For sports there is only one place to go
The verbose and circular eyesore
You now happen to know
As the Sports Maunderer
But for all that stuff not sports related
!@#$!@#$%!#@$%@#$%
(Gotta have profanity in any song, period, if you want it to be famous)
Go to Post Hill, cuz he will...
Uh...
What the heck rhymes with “related”?
~The Sports Maunderer~
This is what Mike Hargrove said after Jeff Weaver gave up 6 runs in 5 1/3 innings.
I would love to see what he looks like when he throws badly.
Regardless of the humorous flavor involved with this quote, it is an established fact that Weaver has always been one of those pitchers who “throws the ball well”. His stuff has always been good. His pitches have movement and speed. Throwing the ball well is not his problem.
He still sucks.
How he parlayed his flash in the pan postseason performance into a heist worthy of “The Sting” is a question answerable only by Seattle’s GM (who by the way, has GOT to be the worst GM in baseball, for so many reasons). Nevertheless, at least he starts.
I’m looking at you, Carl Pavano.
Anyway, after the Rockets lost game seven, I braced myself for a bunch of random “Tracy McGrady can’t get it done” nonsense. I didn’t get as much as I thought (mostly due to his being completely overshadowed by a certain clumsy German), but some people still blamed him.
Big mistake. You watch that game, and you know that Tracy did everything short of ripping his heart out and throwing it at the other team to distract them in order to win that game. Yao Ming, on the other hand, is a colossal (no, this isn’t some pathetic play on words) failure. He is slow, can’t play defense, can’t even outrebound guys a foot shorter than him, is a turnover waiting to happen, and basically doesn’t provide enough offense to make up for his utter cruddiness everywhere else. Houston will never win with this guy at center, unless they happen to trade for Tim Duncan, Steve Nash, Lebron James and Tayshaun Prince, and relegate Yao to gatorade duties.
He stinks.
Meanwhile, in the big news of the week, Roger Clemens is coming back to the Yankees. This is cool but somewhat disappointing, because now when the Yankees go on a run and make the division interesting (hopefully culminating in a dramatic victory once again), everyone will say it was all Clemens, when it reality, it won’t have all been Clemens. But alas, such is the curse of being the Yankees, and having a history of simply being better than everyone else.
(Speaking of which, Steve Philips once said it was childish and arrogant for Yankee fans to expect to win the World Series every year... really? Seeing as, on average, they have won more than once every four years for the last 87 years, it seems relatively intelligent and perspicacious to me)
Anyway, I have entered into a deal in which I pay for the advertising services of Post Hill; to offset this cost, he pays me to advertise for him. So here we go. I will attempt to come up with a song better than the “worst song ever” candidates he usually parades from Kevin Federline and the like, regarding Post Hill’s awesomeness.
For sports there is only one place to go
The verbose and circular eyesore
You now happen to know
As the Sports Maunderer
But for all that stuff not sports related
!@#$!@#$%!#@$%@#$%
(Gotta have profanity in any song, period, if you want it to be famous)
Go to Post Hill, cuz he will...
Uh...
What the heck rhymes with “related”?
~The Sports Maunderer~
Friday, May 04, 2007
One Half Was More Than Enough
Everyone likes a vacation, but after a short time one realizes that most vacations resemble back-up quarterbacks. Sure, fans clamor for them, they look so pretty sitting there on the sideline while the starter struggles through a bad game, and if the backup ever comes in for the starter, he usually starts off well.
After a while, however, you realize that there is a reason this guy is a backup. The novelty factor keeps him afloat but he can’t play for sixteen games like your starter can. Home is a starting quarterback. Sometimes you need a break, but you always go back, with good reason.
May the Third, 2007 was not exactly a day I had been counting down to. It was the last day of work before a three day weekend and there was a game I wanted to see at night, but there are other three day weekends and sporting events.
I woke up tired, because you always wake up tired. Cereal, car, five hours of work. Work was an unpleasant experience, for reasons no one is interested in. Something everyone will understand though: after working fifteen minutes late on Monday so that I could finish fifteen minutes earlier on glorious Thursday, I was looking forward to an early exit. I screwed up a rendezvous, however, and was forced to simply wait for ten minutes in the rain, losing whatever advantage I had gained. May not seem like much at first, but after a crappy set of hours, everyone knows how frustrating that can be.
So I threw some things and hit some things and got over it. I had a friend come by the house for a few hours. For the most part, she informed me of the intrigue and recent drama occurring at her school. Always interesting, if somewhat depressing. After her departure I watched some sports news and intermittently checked on the Yankee game. Ultimate Frisbee was cancelled for the day thanks to an unpleasant string of precipitation.
I hate rain. It really sucks.
After dinner, an amalgam of The Office, throwback video games, novel-writing, Yankee winning and nephew adoration brought happier times and easier moods. The day was finishing better than it had started.
The whole day, I had been planning on watching the Golden State/Dallas game. Not only had I become interested in the series because it was history waiting to happen, but I had grown to love Golden State’s insane style of basketball. Ten days ago I had no idea someone could have that many tattoos, and now all I could think was “Man, that Matt Barnes guy hustles”. So I was looking forward to this capstone for Thursday.
Yet due to a TV territory war, I didn’t get to turn the game on until the second half was starting.
Didn’t matter.
Didn’t matter at all.
From the time I changed the channel to TNT to the time I had to calm a racing heart as I got into bed, there was nothing but pure, unadulterated, unexplainable basketball bliss.
Basketball paradise.
Basketball ecstasy.
In the most unbelievable combination of insane, crazy, “what the heck are they running?” basketball with “this is exactly how you are supposed to play”—running down every loose ball, penetrating at every turn, slamming it in people’s faces than kicking it out when they collapse, running them ragged around pick and rolls, swarming clumsy Germans and forcing turnovers and bad shots—I have never, ever watched a game that I cared more about and which was less in doubt from beginning to end.
And I haven’t even gotten to the crowd yet.
Before the game, I had read Bill Simmon’s vehement arguments that Golden State was one of only two remaining home court advantages in the NBA. He believed Dallas simply could not win in that environment, and was he ever proved correct. Dallas could have shown up with MJ in his prime and they would have lost (well, alright, that is pushing it). But regardless, this crowd is unbelievable. They understand everything. They know exactly when to cheer, how loud to cheer, why they are cheering and how to get the absolute most of their team while completely demoralizing their opponents. The Mavericks looked beaten and weary midway through the third quarter. And if you tell me this wasn’t due to that unbelievable Golden State crowd, you are nuts. They made me a Golden State fan for as long as anyone on this team is alive. I wanted to be in that building. If God had deigned it appropriate for me to die young, He would have let me attend that game and die in utter joy right afterwards.
This wasn’t one of those games where the big bad top seed looks like it is losing the game on purpose and will turn it around at any moment but just happens to wait too long. This game was utter domination by a team that was simply more athletic, hungrier for victory and less worried about defeat. They simply did not care what the score was; already up twenty, they pushed the ball to get a 2 for 1 at the end of the Third Quarter! And the crowd absolutely understood what they were doing, and applauded them like mad for it.
Every time the ball bounced for a long rebound, a Warrior got it. Every time someone drove to the basket, three Warriors swatted it. Every time a shot went up, a Warrior challenged it. They were everywhere. I have never seen five guys look like twenty as they did on this night of unexpected, inexplicable basketball perfection. I didn’t even know what city Golden State was in a few months ago. Now I know half of their lineup.
Baron Davis
Steven Jackson
Matt Barnes
Jason Richardson
Al Harrington
Andris Biedrins
Monta Ellis
They are all fast, they are all strong, they are all good at seemingly everything. And their coach, Don Nelson, just pulled off one of the great coaching feats in the history of anything. His team made the Dallas Mavericks appear confused, frustrated, and simply untalented at times.
And the home crowd understood it, too. They understood it all. Every time someone set up at the three point line and Baron Davis drove to the basket, they saw the collapse, kick, score coming. When Jason Richardson put the exclamation point slam on the game, they had seen it coming ten seconds earlier off of that terrific pass. I was sitting at home, watching on TV, and I was standing and cheering at points! I was always on the edge of my seat. The game was a bloody blowout, and I could not have been more interested in the next possession.
I went to bed last night having witnessed one of the great home crowd experiences of all time, and I wasn’t even there. They willed their team to near perfection, and I felt privileged just to watch. A 111-86 blowout later, I went to bed, not tired at all. You are never tired when you go to bed.
After a while, however, you realize that there is a reason this guy is a backup. The novelty factor keeps him afloat but he can’t play for sixteen games like your starter can. Home is a starting quarterback. Sometimes you need a break, but you always go back, with good reason.
May the Third, 2007 was not exactly a day I had been counting down to. It was the last day of work before a three day weekend and there was a game I wanted to see at night, but there are other three day weekends and sporting events.
I woke up tired, because you always wake up tired. Cereal, car, five hours of work. Work was an unpleasant experience, for reasons no one is interested in. Something everyone will understand though: after working fifteen minutes late on Monday so that I could finish fifteen minutes earlier on glorious Thursday, I was looking forward to an early exit. I screwed up a rendezvous, however, and was forced to simply wait for ten minutes in the rain, losing whatever advantage I had gained. May not seem like much at first, but after a crappy set of hours, everyone knows how frustrating that can be.
So I threw some things and hit some things and got over it. I had a friend come by the house for a few hours. For the most part, she informed me of the intrigue and recent drama occurring at her school. Always interesting, if somewhat depressing. After her departure I watched some sports news and intermittently checked on the Yankee game. Ultimate Frisbee was cancelled for the day thanks to an unpleasant string of precipitation.
I hate rain. It really sucks.
After dinner, an amalgam of The Office, throwback video games, novel-writing, Yankee winning and nephew adoration brought happier times and easier moods. The day was finishing better than it had started.
The whole day, I had been planning on watching the Golden State/Dallas game. Not only had I become interested in the series because it was history waiting to happen, but I had grown to love Golden State’s insane style of basketball. Ten days ago I had no idea someone could have that many tattoos, and now all I could think was “Man, that Matt Barnes guy hustles”. So I was looking forward to this capstone for Thursday.
Yet due to a TV territory war, I didn’t get to turn the game on until the second half was starting.
Didn’t matter.
Didn’t matter at all.
From the time I changed the channel to TNT to the time I had to calm a racing heart as I got into bed, there was nothing but pure, unadulterated, unexplainable basketball bliss.
Basketball paradise.
Basketball ecstasy.
In the most unbelievable combination of insane, crazy, “what the heck are they running?” basketball with “this is exactly how you are supposed to play”—running down every loose ball, penetrating at every turn, slamming it in people’s faces than kicking it out when they collapse, running them ragged around pick and rolls, swarming clumsy Germans and forcing turnovers and bad shots—I have never, ever watched a game that I cared more about and which was less in doubt from beginning to end.
And I haven’t even gotten to the crowd yet.
Before the game, I had read Bill Simmon’s vehement arguments that Golden State was one of only two remaining home court advantages in the NBA. He believed Dallas simply could not win in that environment, and was he ever proved correct. Dallas could have shown up with MJ in his prime and they would have lost (well, alright, that is pushing it). But regardless, this crowd is unbelievable. They understand everything. They know exactly when to cheer, how loud to cheer, why they are cheering and how to get the absolute most of their team while completely demoralizing their opponents. The Mavericks looked beaten and weary midway through the third quarter. And if you tell me this wasn’t due to that unbelievable Golden State crowd, you are nuts. They made me a Golden State fan for as long as anyone on this team is alive. I wanted to be in that building. If God had deigned it appropriate for me to die young, He would have let me attend that game and die in utter joy right afterwards.
This wasn’t one of those games where the big bad top seed looks like it is losing the game on purpose and will turn it around at any moment but just happens to wait too long. This game was utter domination by a team that was simply more athletic, hungrier for victory and less worried about defeat. They simply did not care what the score was; already up twenty, they pushed the ball to get a 2 for 1 at the end of the Third Quarter! And the crowd absolutely understood what they were doing, and applauded them like mad for it.
Every time the ball bounced for a long rebound, a Warrior got it. Every time someone drove to the basket, three Warriors swatted it. Every time a shot went up, a Warrior challenged it. They were everywhere. I have never seen five guys look like twenty as they did on this night of unexpected, inexplicable basketball perfection. I didn’t even know what city Golden State was in a few months ago. Now I know half of their lineup.
Baron Davis
Steven Jackson
Matt Barnes
Jason Richardson
Al Harrington
Andris Biedrins
Monta Ellis
They are all fast, they are all strong, they are all good at seemingly everything. And their coach, Don Nelson, just pulled off one of the great coaching feats in the history of anything. His team made the Dallas Mavericks appear confused, frustrated, and simply untalented at times.
And the home crowd understood it, too. They understood it all. Every time someone set up at the three point line and Baron Davis drove to the basket, they saw the collapse, kick, score coming. When Jason Richardson put the exclamation point slam on the game, they had seen it coming ten seconds earlier off of that terrific pass. I was sitting at home, watching on TV, and I was standing and cheering at points! I was always on the edge of my seat. The game was a bloody blowout, and I could not have been more interested in the next possession.
I went to bed last night having witnessed one of the great home crowd experiences of all time, and I wasn’t even there. They willed their team to near perfection, and I felt privileged just to watch. A 111-86 blowout later, I went to bed, not tired at all. You are never tired when you go to bed.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Torre is Inimitable
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/news/story?id=2859065
Finally. The NCAA is pushing back that wretched line. If it were up to me, the lin would be NBA length. That line sucks. Takes the midrange jumpshot out of the equation. That takes ballhandlers out of the equation. Right now, it is give it to a big guy until they stop him, then kick it out for open threes. Lame.
Maybe this will work a bit better.
Anyway this will be a shortened version because I am only here to say one thing.
JOE TORRE SUCKS
He jsut took Mike Mussina out of a game after he had thrown five innings of one run ball, but had reached that dreaded... SIXTY PITCH mark? Man this manager is bad. I don't care if Mike is coming off an injury. If he can't throw more than 60 pitches, he should never have come off in the first place.
Anyway, if you came here expecting more, too bad. Read the column below this one. If you already read that one... oh well.
~The Sports Maunderer~
Finally. The NCAA is pushing back that wretched line. If it were up to me, the lin would be NBA length. That line sucks. Takes the midrange jumpshot out of the equation. That takes ballhandlers out of the equation. Right now, it is give it to a big guy until they stop him, then kick it out for open threes. Lame.
Maybe this will work a bit better.
Anyway this will be a shortened version because I am only here to say one thing.
JOE TORRE SUCKS
He jsut took Mike Mussina out of a game after he had thrown five innings of one run ball, but had reached that dreaded... SIXTY PITCH mark? Man this manager is bad. I don't care if Mike is coming off an injury. If he can't throw more than 60 pitches, he should never have come off in the first place.
Anyway, if you came here expecting more, too bad. Read the column below this one. If you already read that one... oh well.
~The Sports Maunderer~
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Thank God
There is not much satisfaction to be gained from the Yankees recent change of direction in their strength and conditioning department--but there is definitely some.
The Yankees are somewhat old.
And Carl Pavano is somewhat fragile.
And they are having some bad luck.
And Torre is still mostly to blame.
But you are telling me that a 20 year old pitcher, a 26 year old pitcher, a 30 something hitter, a 38 year old pitcher, etc. etc. all just randomly began having hamstring problems at the exact same time, and there wasn't a bit of a common cause?
This makes me feel better.
What doesn't make me feel good is that after finally showing some heart last night--the Yankees blew the Rangers out of the park and got a no-hit performance from Philip Hughes--the news turned sour as Hughes is now going to miss 4-6 weeks due to injury. Oh boy. No, nothing else could go wrong. Well. They could give Joe Torre an extension. But other than that, nothing more could possibly go wrong.
Anyway, if you thought the Grammy's had lost credibility--I'm still wondering if they ever had any credibility--just know that sports awards aren't any better. Soon enough Dirk will win the MVP award with one of the most mediocre season ever to receive such an honor, but even worse than that... Rick Reilly is apparently an 11 time winning best sportswriter in America.
This guy thinks Torre is great, like all the media idiots (why do they defend him so sharply? They constantly tell us it isn't his fault they are losing, while at the same time telling us it was all due to his genius that they used to win! where, exactly, did Joe Torre gain mass brainwashing abilities?), but he also thinks Randy Moss is about as bad as Terell Owens and that he will destroy New England and that this was a terrible move by the Patriots...
WHAAATTTT?!
These comparisons are so stupid. Randy is NOTHING like TO. TO, when upset, lashes out and destroys the camaraderie of his team. He insults people, complains about QBs, etc. etc. Randy Moss, when upset, just dissapears. He is not a "cancer" in the club house (speaking of which, that word is way overused. Think up something new, people. Yes, Rick Reilly, supposedly the best sports writer we have, used the word repeatedly. So why am I not famous yet...?) and he does not ruin team chemistry. He singlehandedly took the 98 Vikings to the brink of a Super Bowl, only foiled by Gary Anderson's first missed kick all year (and a wide receiver singlehandedly taking a team by the horns and making it good is unheard of). He made Randal Cunningham look good. He made Daunte Culpepper look good. He could make anyone look good.
Now sure, he is thirty years old. But he is still raring to go. And he will. He will "go" a lot. And the Patriots will go to the Super Bowl.
And let's say I'm wrong about everything and he is a disaster both on and off the field. They only traded a 4th round pick for him! Kick him off the team and be done with it! They didn't lose anything. They'll still have a Super Bowl contender and they still will have plenty of picks in next year's draft. It isn't like they broke the bank on him anyway.
And yet, you want to know something funny?
Rick Reilly is without a doubt the best sports writer I have ever seen. His columns in the back of Sports Illustrated are usually hilarious, always informative and generally creative. He talks about off-beat topics and has witty ways of addressing them. I *love* this guy. In fact, when I first heard him spew the nonsense I just informed you of (on Mike and Mike in the Morning, a terrific radio show), I didn't even realize it was him, because I never thought Rick would be so obtuse.
It just goes to show that even the best sports writer can sound stupid when he *speaks*.
(Yes, I am only reacting this vehemently to his vitriolic attacks against Randy Moss because he also was very pejorative in his comments on the Yankees, but still. The thing with Randy is idiotic).
In other news, apparently someone somewhere conducted a "study" of NBA reffing and concluded that the refs are racist (if I got paid to write, I'd provide a link. Since I am not, you can use thirty seconds of your time and google it yourself). Now first of all, I scoff at the word "study", since all they did was look at statistics that others people compiled and gave percentages (I have performed a study of Albert Pjuols recent years, and have concluded that Albert Pujols usually hits a lot of home runs. See? I can do it too!). But still, their main point is a good one:
NBA refs are completely racist. Absurdly so. I can say without a doubt that at least 75% of the fouls called are on black players. Probably more. Maybe close to 90%. Those refs aren't even trying to hide it. They are all over the African-Americans. They won't let them do anything. They call fouls all game long. How many times does a white guy get called for a foul? Seven or eight times a game, at most? Come on you bigoted jerks, straighten this out.
Something to ponder:
If the Titans signed Keyshawn Johnson, he would give their entire receiver corps a %200 increase in receptions from last season.
Now, for our favorite sports version of Legolas, its time for the...
Mort Report Retort:
Brady Quinn fell to 22 in this year's draft. This was unexpected.
The Patriots are hoping to win a few games this year after a few minor offseason acquisitions.
The Lions picked a WR in the first round. What? That was from two years ago? What, no, it was three years ago? Wait, hold on, it was FOUR YEARS AGO?!
The Eagles hope Donovan McNabb gets healthy for this season, because most people agree he is the leading candidate for their starting QB job.
And with all the absurdly obvious stated, I leave you with one last thought:
Chris Mortensen makes more money to say "A diversion" then soldiers do to protect our country. Dear me.
~The Sports Maunderer~
The Yankees are somewhat old.
And Carl Pavano is somewhat fragile.
And they are having some bad luck.
And Torre is still mostly to blame.
But you are telling me that a 20 year old pitcher, a 26 year old pitcher, a 30 something hitter, a 38 year old pitcher, etc. etc. all just randomly began having hamstring problems at the exact same time, and there wasn't a bit of a common cause?
This makes me feel better.
What doesn't make me feel good is that after finally showing some heart last night--the Yankees blew the Rangers out of the park and got a no-hit performance from Philip Hughes--the news turned sour as Hughes is now going to miss 4-6 weeks due to injury. Oh boy. No, nothing else could go wrong. Well. They could give Joe Torre an extension. But other than that, nothing more could possibly go wrong.
Anyway, if you thought the Grammy's had lost credibility--I'm still wondering if they ever had any credibility--just know that sports awards aren't any better. Soon enough Dirk will win the MVP award with one of the most mediocre season ever to receive such an honor, but even worse than that... Rick Reilly is apparently an 11 time winning best sportswriter in America.
This guy thinks Torre is great, like all the media idiots (why do they defend him so sharply? They constantly tell us it isn't his fault they are losing, while at the same time telling us it was all due to his genius that they used to win! where, exactly, did Joe Torre gain mass brainwashing abilities?), but he also thinks Randy Moss is about as bad as Terell Owens and that he will destroy New England and that this was a terrible move by the Patriots...
WHAAATTTT?!
These comparisons are so stupid. Randy is NOTHING like TO. TO, when upset, lashes out and destroys the camaraderie of his team. He insults people, complains about QBs, etc. etc. Randy Moss, when upset, just dissapears. He is not a "cancer" in the club house (speaking of which, that word is way overused. Think up something new, people. Yes, Rick Reilly, supposedly the best sports writer we have, used the word repeatedly. So why am I not famous yet...?) and he does not ruin team chemistry. He singlehandedly took the 98 Vikings to the brink of a Super Bowl, only foiled by Gary Anderson's first missed kick all year (and a wide receiver singlehandedly taking a team by the horns and making it good is unheard of). He made Randal Cunningham look good. He made Daunte Culpepper look good. He could make anyone look good.
Now sure, he is thirty years old. But he is still raring to go. And he will. He will "go" a lot. And the Patriots will go to the Super Bowl.
And let's say I'm wrong about everything and he is a disaster both on and off the field. They only traded a 4th round pick for him! Kick him off the team and be done with it! They didn't lose anything. They'll still have a Super Bowl contender and they still will have plenty of picks in next year's draft. It isn't like they broke the bank on him anyway.
And yet, you want to know something funny?
Rick Reilly is without a doubt the best sports writer I have ever seen. His columns in the back of Sports Illustrated are usually hilarious, always informative and generally creative. He talks about off-beat topics and has witty ways of addressing them. I *love* this guy. In fact, when I first heard him spew the nonsense I just informed you of (on Mike and Mike in the Morning, a terrific radio show), I didn't even realize it was him, because I never thought Rick would be so obtuse.
It just goes to show that even the best sports writer can sound stupid when he *speaks*.
(Yes, I am only reacting this vehemently to his vitriolic attacks against Randy Moss because he also was very pejorative in his comments on the Yankees, but still. The thing with Randy is idiotic).
In other news, apparently someone somewhere conducted a "study" of NBA reffing and concluded that the refs are racist (if I got paid to write, I'd provide a link. Since I am not, you can use thirty seconds of your time and google it yourself). Now first of all, I scoff at the word "study", since all they did was look at statistics that others people compiled and gave percentages (I have performed a study of Albert Pjuols recent years, and have concluded that Albert Pujols usually hits a lot of home runs. See? I can do it too!). But still, their main point is a good one:
NBA refs are completely racist. Absurdly so. I can say without a doubt that at least 75% of the fouls called are on black players. Probably more. Maybe close to 90%. Those refs aren't even trying to hide it. They are all over the African-Americans. They won't let them do anything. They call fouls all game long. How many times does a white guy get called for a foul? Seven or eight times a game, at most? Come on you bigoted jerks, straighten this out.
Something to ponder:
If the Titans signed Keyshawn Johnson, he would give their entire receiver corps a %200 increase in receptions from last season.
Now, for our favorite sports version of Legolas, its time for the...
Mort Report Retort:
Brady Quinn fell to 22 in this year's draft. This was unexpected.
The Patriots are hoping to win a few games this year after a few minor offseason acquisitions.
The Lions picked a WR in the first round. What? That was from two years ago? What, no, it was three years ago? Wait, hold on, it was FOUR YEARS AGO?!
The Eagles hope Donovan McNabb gets healthy for this season, because most people agree he is the leading candidate for their starting QB job.
And with all the absurdly obvious stated, I leave you with one last thought:
Chris Mortensen makes more money to say "A diversion" then soldiers do to protect our country. Dear me.
~The Sports Maunderer~
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