In that spirit, this post has no purpose nor coherence. No cogent thoughts shall emerge, no syllogisms shall be constructed, nothing shall be told in careful detail (and certainly not perspicuous detail) and most of it will make no sense.
I know this won't scare any of the Sports Maunderer's vast readership away, because if such a post scared them away, they would have been lost back when the first post was unleashed upon the world (sorry about that, by the way).
Joba Chamberlain bites on a mouth guard to relax his face. No word on why exactly his face is the thing needing relaxing.
Nick Swisher needs a haircut.
Did you hear B**** F**** might be looking to play with the Vikings but--oh wait, nevermind, he isn't anymore! Little known fact. And I see the Sports Maunderer's self-censor is working perfectly.
Alberto Contador is only five years away from tying Lance. And only six from beating him. I rarely root for the Spanish agaisnt Americans, but I guess if they are going to get a little revenge for 1899, this isn't a bad way to do it.
The Sports Maunderer just realized he could do a running blog of a Yankee game now that he owns a beautiful portable computer. This will happen. The question is only when. Nominations for dates, times, starting pitchers, opponents, etc. will be accepted in the comments.
A-Rod is a ballplayer.
The Yankees away uniforms seem to have been shrunk. The inner workings of Jeter's gluteus maximus.... well... not something I am interested in. I suppose some females might disagree.
Not to harp on this categorizing/labeling/organizing thing, but, yeah, I'm going to harp on it. It's The Man winning. The Man is winning.
Did you know Kate Hudson was a baseball fan? I sure didn't.
The Lakers signed Ron Artest and the Celtics signed Rasheed Wallace. Neither of these moves are particularly strong basketball moves, so one is left to believe they are trying to outdo each other in the "who does everyone hate more" department.
Everyone hates the Lakers more. Everyone.
The Phillies traded for Cliff Lee. The Yankees should have done this, if only to keep the Phillies from doing it. Now the Phillies are a semi-respectable NL team. The problem with semi-respectable NL teams is that the far superior AL teams reach the World Series exhausted after brutal battles with other far superior AL teams, and whoever reaches the World Series from the NL has only the distinction of somehow managing to be not as bad as everyone else. So a semi-respectable NL team is one that, given much more rest and much less stress (look up the Yankees lineup. Then look up the Rockies lineup. Tell me who you are having more trouble with in the division round) might be able to steal the World Series from the far superior team. Notice examples such as the Cardinals and Phillies in recent years. Even the Marlins, in 2003, won a game 1 they had no business winning because the Yankees had just been through the most intense ALCS ever. But the Marlins were legitimate. They were good. Yanks still should have won (*grumble grumble grumble*) but they had Josh Beckett, A.J. Burnett and Carl Pavano before he was a corpse. I mean... not a bad starting three. The Marlins were good.
The Cardinals were not. Neither, really, were the Phillies. And now that the Phillies are slightly kind of maybe just a wee bit decent, they have a serious shot at knocking off whoever comes out of the epic struggle that is the AL.
Guess it's time to wrap up, but did you know Mark Harmon sported a mustache on a few NCIS episodes? Disturbing.
Oh. And Rick Sutcliff is still an idiot.
~The Sports Maunderer~
6 comments:
Love the maundering!
This one had me laughing big-time. I think you heard it because you are sitting right next to me. You are so goshdarn cute!
Down with Lance Armstrong! Long live Alberto Contador!
-Cat (cheese and butter, ugh!)
Cute, eh?
"Carl Pavano before he was a corpse" LOL!!! if only we could all make millions for sitting on the Yankee bench for a cpl yrs!
well said about NL vs AL going into world series.
1 more shot of Kate Hudson in the stands & I'll hunt down the cameraman, the broadcasting editor, the techie behind the board, the producers AND the ticket booth guy that lets her into the stadium & send them all fish.
and its all the Hispanic grandmother laundress, I'm tellin' ya!
PS categories can be for sissies fine. but that doesnt count Mort Report Retort bc that is not a category - it is a service to mankind!!!
The Man already won. And besides, organization is great. This way you can just click one hyperlink and skip all of the Null Set entries and get right to the funny. It's just like if you had a button on your TV remote that removed the bad parts from Saturday Night Live and cut right to Tom Hanks' opening monologue which would then be followed by the credits.
It's genius, I'm telling you, GENIUS!
And besides, what with all these indigents that have been hired, we have to have them do something --and with their vast experience with working in the fast-food industry, shoveling unhealthy garbage into boxes seems right up their alley.
A metaphorical one --not the one we house them in.
Alas, someday I might have to, dare I say it, "organize" my posts, also.
Eww.
Please do not organize, Maunderer! That would be devastating to those of us who need a little disorganization in our lives. I can't keep up with those other post commenters. My brain doesn't work that fast but as usual, you provided my laugh pill for the day.
Post a Comment