My Argument is Perfect. To Prove it...

Tautologies are a common fact of life. People argue from their argument.

"This food is better than that food because it has sausage in it."

"Oh yeah? Well this one has pepperoni!"

"Yes, but since my food is better than yours, clearly sausage is better than pepperoni!"

"Oh well of course, I hadn't thought of that."

But seriously, have we grown so logically lazy as a viewing/reading public that we don't spot the problem with made-up statistics? Case in point:John Hollinger.

He is a statistical madman, creating and inventing statistical measures left and right. Then, when he is arguing for a player, he says "See, look, he is so high on my very own invented statistical formula!!!!"Here is PER. Scroll down a bit for the formula. Not only is it nuts, but its John Hollinger's determination of how much everything is worth. It's absurd.

The very thing itself should need to be argued for or against, and yet he uses it like a real measuring stick. He thinks Yao Ming will be the best player in the NBA because his projected PER (yes, not even his actual PER, his "projected" PER) for this season was higher than anyone else's.

This despite the fact that Yao Ming is a stick figure who can't guard anyone, rebound against guys a foot shorter than him, or attack the basket, and who singlehandedly lost Houston the series against Utah last postseason. Now if you want to make a case for Yao, go ahead. But don't do it by creating your own nonsensical formula and then acting as if said formula is an axiom. It isn't. Know how I know? I asked Spock, that's how.

Moving on, with football season one big string left to be played out (where does this highly non-intuitive phrase come from?) thanks to the super team in New England, (get it? Super bowl, super team? Get it? Get it?) we need to find something else interesting. NBA is never interesting at this time of year thanks to the fact that the NBA has exactly the system that people have been clamoring for in college football. And so, instead of enjoying a regular season where the Spurs' insouciance actually matters, the Celtics' prodigious start is actually newsworthy, or the Lakers surprising ability to win games elicits some fun, we know that none of it matters whatsoever, for the playoffs let everyone and their grandmother in, and then the Spurs, Mavs, Suns, Pistons and Celtics will be the only contenders, and they will all be back to square one, and 82 games worth of regulars season will mean--I descend into Vonnegutism--doodly-squat.

Gee, don't you wish college football had something that exciting?!

Then USC/Stanford would have meant... NOTHING! And Pitt/WVU would have meant... NOTHING! And LSU/Kentucky would have meant... NOTHING!

Look, I am all for reducing (drastically) the number of Bowl games. There should be somewhere on the order of ten bowl games, not 32 or whatever there is currently. But a playoff system will just destroy the inherent advantage of meaningful regular season games that college football has.

But what about college basketball, you say? First off, March Madness is a unique beast. College football could not replicate it even if it tried. Second... doesn't March Madness completely invalidate the regular season? Yes! The simple fact of the matter is that for all the "upsets" we hear about in March, the team that is supposed to win... usually does. Florida won last year, and the year before that they capitalized on a rare field of no one being very good. UNC beat everyone when they were supposed to, and you can continue going further back. This is not to say March Madness is unenjoyable. But the College football regular season is a vertiable March madness on its own--lose and you have a very good shot of being out. Normally, you ARE out. This year was a weird year, sure, but does anyone doubt that LSU was the best team in the country? Well, okay, I do. But here is the point: the only challengers would be Georgia and USC; Georgia didn't even win their division, so they have no beef. USC lost to Stanford, so they have no beef.

Really, the only problem with the BCS is that it still recognizes the Big Ten as a BCS conference. The Big Ten is pathetic. It is a step above Conference USA. Maybe. I mean, the ACC is hardly a powerhouse and the ACC is way better than the Big Ten. The Big East blows the Big Ten out of the water. The Pac-10 and SEC are tantamount to pro-level leagues compared to the Big Ten (see: Rose Bowl and BCS title game). The Big Ten should just be abolished.

Yes, that is slightly hyperbolic.

Anyway, the Patriots continue their reign as the team most likely to be picked against in the history of the league for being so dang good. The Jags were the trendy pick this week because they could run the ball. For 80 yards, apparently. 31-20 and it wasn't even that close. The Patriots never punted (except for the garbage time punt when the game was over). Never Punted. So much for Jacksonville's vaunted defense.

Of course, now the Patriots are really hoping the Chargers win. I mean, seriously, Bill Belichick could win against Norv Turner if he was coaching a Big Ten team, much less when he clearly has the superior force. Tony Dungy is not quite so hapless. Either way, SuperBowl XVII will be played two weeks before the commercials come on.

Speaking of the NFC, how about we just get rid of half of the NFC teams? Seattle is perennially exposed once they have to play non-NFC West teams (btw, the NFC West, according to Emmitt Smith, is "one of" the worst conferences in the NFC!!!! No, don't laugh at Emmitt. You are trying to make him an "escape goat". Plus, Emitt brings you useful info all the time. For instance, did you know that Tony Romo not only broke the NFC East record for TD passes, he also broke the Cowboys franchise record?!?!?), Tampa Bay just isn't good, Washington ditto, and while the Giants, Cowboys and Packers are all decent, does the fact that a conference has three good teams make up for the fact that the other conference has way more better teams (I like that phrasing... way more better...)? I say we send the NFC and the Big Ten off to Hawaii to live in peace.

Speaking of Hawaii... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Who didn't see that coming.

Amazing how the press coverage of Hawaii getting pwned was limited on ESPN. It didn't fit in with ESPN's master plan of brainwashing the country to believe that playing against San Jose State is the same as playing against Florida, Arkansas, LSU etc. on a regular basis. Hawaii proved once again that the BCS conferences are simply too good for the non-BCS conferences. Appalachian State helped prove the Big Ten is not a BCS conference by winning at Michigan. My syllogism is impeccable.

Anyway, thanks to a faulty cursor, this post was delayed for many a moon. But don't worry, the Sports Maunderer will be back before the apocalypse comes, and his next post will be way more better.

Until then,

~The Sports Maunderer~